Most of us long for intimate relationships, and though texting and emailing may keep us superficially connected, it ultimately cannot create the kind of intimacy necessary to sustain a deep, fulfilling, and lasting partnership. With the divorce rate reaching a staggering 50 percent in 2013 and the breakup rate among unmarried long-term couples even higher, it appears that the more we tweet, the more disconnected we become. So many of us believe that new is better, hotter, and more intense, but love at first sight isn't really love, it's chemistry.In Partners in Passion, Michaels and Johnson provide readers with a fun, step-by-step guide to discovering true, loving, and romantically sexual relationships that will last for decades. Comprehensive and inclusive, Partners in Passion is original and provocative, drawing on a variety of sources: cutting-edge science, psychology, the authors' background in tantra, and personal experiences as teachers and as a couple. Partners in Passion invites couples to design their relationships and to choose consciously, and is replete with how-to suggestions and exercises, including interviews with couples from diverse backgrounds, relationship styles, and orientations who are enjoying erotically vibrant partnerships.

Winner of the Independent Publisher Award Gold Medal in Sexuality/Relationships

A graduate of NYU and Yale, Mark A. Michaels writes for scholarly and legal publications and his plays have been produced off-Broadway. He took his first tantra class in 1997 and gave his first lecture on the subject two years later. Patricia Johnson spent many years as a professional operatic soprano. In 1999, a longstanding interest in tantra inspired her to attend a lecture by Mark Michaels, now her husband and collaborator. Since then, she and Michaels have taught and lectured throughout the world. They live in New York City.

Chapter 1: New Relationship Energy 1

Chapter 2: Good Relationships: The Ten Big Myths 6
Myth #1: You Need to Find a Soulmate 8
Myth #2: They Lived Happily Ever After 10
Myth #3: You Should Work on Your Relationship 13
Myth #4: Men are from Mars; Women are from Venus 15
Myth #5: Relationships and Sex are About Getting Your Needs Met 17
Myth #6: Desiring Someone Else is a Form of Infidelity 20
Myth #7: Monogamy is Natural and Optimal 22
Myth #8: Sex Should be Spontaneous 25
Myth #9: The Sex in Movies, on TV, and in Porn is Good 28
Myth #10: There is a Right Way to be Sexual 31
Chapter 3: A New Paradigm: Keys to Creating an Enduring and Erotic Relationship 32
Know Yourself Sexually 34
Love is Profound Interest 41
View Your Sexual Life Together as a Co-Creation 46
Take Pleasure in Serving Each Other 49
Maintain a Sense of Mystery 53
Chapter 4: Beyond the Keys: How to Live the New Paradigm 59
Connect First – Talk Later 60 Build Trust and Create Goodwill 64
Be Brave: Having the Courage to be Open About Sex Builds Intimacy 68
Keep Kindness as Your Touchstone 69
Be Honest in Moderation 72
Engage Empathically 75
Compersion: Take Pleasure in Your Lover’s Pleasure 77
Treat Your Relationship as an Ongoing Exploration 78
Be Flexible 80
Above All, Have Fun 82
Chapter 5: Great Sex: Concepts 84
What is Sex? 84
What is Great Sex? 86
Quality of Touch 89
Agenda-Free Touch 95
Awareness and Attunement 97
Abandon, Enthusiasm, and Lack of Inhibition 99
Don’t Wait to Feel Desire 104
Chapter 6: Anatomy: A Little Technical Knowledge Goes a Long Way 106
The Pelvic Floor – Crucible of Your Sexuality 110
Additional Paths to Orgasm 118
Female Anatomy 119
The Clitoris 120
The G-spot 121
Male Anatomy 125
The Penis 125
The Foreskin 127
The Prostate Gland 129
The Testicles and Scrotum 131
Chapter 7: Tantra and Neo-Tantra – Techniques for Enhanced Lovemaking 132
Breaking Out of Unconscious and Habitual Patterns 138
Making Energy Concrete 143
Orgasm as an Energetic Phenomenon 145
Orgasm as an Energetic Phenomenon: Part II 148
Karezza – A Different Way of Making Love 156
Chapter 8: Basic Sexual Adventuring 161
Sexual Trust 162
How to Build Sexual Trust 169
Create an Erotic Statement of Purpose 170
Adventuring as a Couple 174
Choosing Your Adventures 175
How to Talk About Trying Something New 176
Erotic Imagination 180
Fantasy 181
Visual Erotica and Porn 184
More about Fantasy: Partnered and Solo 188
Acting Out Fantasies 189
Sex Toys 191
From Behind Closed Doors to Out in the Open 195
Chapter 9: Advanced Sexual Adventuring: Open Relating to Strengthen Your Partnership 196
Forms of Non-Monogamous Expression 199
Non-Consensual Non-Monogamy 199
Semi-Consensual Non-Monogamy 201
Open Relationships 202
Friends with Benefits 204
Swinging 206
Polyamory 211
Designer Relationships 214
Safer Sex 215
Talking about Safer Sex 219
Sexual Responsibility 221
First Steps Toward Opening Your Relationship 226
Interacting with Others 230
Where and How to Meet Similar People 232
Dealing with Jealousy 233
Compersion and Jealousy 238
Chapter 10: Kink 240
What is Kink? 243
Sadism and Masochism 245
Dominance and Submission 248
Kink and Stereotypes 251
Intimacy in Kink 253
Fetish, Roleplay, and Dressing Up 254
Tantra, Kink, and a Caveat 257
Getting Started 258
Chapter 11: Dealing with Discrepancies, Distractions and Disruptions 261
Desire Discrepancy 267
Other Discrepancies 272
Sexual Function 278
Premature Ejaculation 278
Delayed Ejaculation 279
Erectile Dysfunction 280
General Female Sexual Issues 281
Anorgasmia 282
Pregnancy and Childbirth 285
Separation 289
Financial difficulties 295
Other Stresses 296
Chapter 12: Going the Distance 298
Techniques for Falling in Love Again and Again 304
Maintenance Sex 307
Consciously Continue Your Courtship 310
Sex and Aging 313
Chapter 13: Resource Guide 323
Books 324
Dating-Social Network Websites 328
Events 329
General Open Relating and Kink Resources 330
Online Erotica and Education 331
Retreat Centers and Resorts 332
Safer Sex Resources 333
Sex and Disability Information 333
Sex-positive Organizations/Directories – Professional, Political, Educational
333
Sex Shops/Online Vendors/Toy Manufacturers/Fetishwear/BDSM Supplies
334
Sexuality Educators, Advocates, and Allies 336
Tantra and Sacred Sexuality Resources 338


Acknowledgements 339
Selected Bibliography 342
List of Words