Here are a thousand and one laugh-out-loud quotes, quips and jokes, all in one packed volume. From politicians to sports legends, Hollywood stars to Miss USA contestants, comedians are not the only ones tickling our funny bones and showing us the lighter side of life. For example: Playwright George S. Kaufman said to fellow Algonquin Round Table wit, Marc Connolly, "I like your bald head, Marc, It feels just like my wife's behind." Connolly replied, feeling his pate, "So it does, George!" "Football combines two of the worst things in American life. It is violence punctuated by committee meetings." -George Will "Whenever I'm asked what kind of writing is most lucrative, I have to say ransom notes." -H. N. Swanson Whether it's the perfectly timed response to an insult, or an on-the-spot play on words, 1001 Funniest Things Ever Said is sure to draw a smile from even the most solemn reader.